Now available, the first in the Cain and Able Mystery series. On-Line in E-Book and Paperback.

Exploring the secrets to a long marriage.

How many books do you suppose have been written advising you what to do to remain married for a long time? Two thousand, three thousand, one hundred thousand? Suffice it to say, it’s a lot. Nonetheless, the annual divorce rate remains at more than 50%. Ouch!

I Googled “books on happy marriage”. In a scant .42 seconds, Google came up with 16,600,000 results, that’s what. The first dozen or so were written by laymen and PhD folks, none of whom had been married more than 30 or 40 years. Look here, I’ve been married more than 56 years, so, doesn’t that qualify me just as much as one of those talking heads? I certainly think it does. So, here goes Jack and Jill Public.

First off, living together for a time guarantees nothing except free sex pretty much as often as you like. Because there is no “license” or firm commitment, both parties know they can easily walk away, no harm, no foul. In my mind, it’s a colossal waste of time. Better to get to know your intended mate the best you can by doing lots of things together first.

The male of our species is an oversexed, selfish slob who fears bending over to pick up his own socks. Think about it. What little boy have you ever known who kept his room picked up, let alone clean? How about the teenage or young adult man? It isn’t going to happen. Therefore, it is incumbent on the man to at least occasionally pick up after himself if he intends a happy marriage. (Notice I have not mentioned sex, yet.) By all means, remember to treat ladies with softness, opening doors, etc.

Forget all that other stuff you’ve heard about women. It just complicates the issue. Here is the simple abbreviated truth: 1) Women need to have a reasonable sex appeal. 2) Women need to have a reasonably pleasant personality. That’s it. Everything else is icing on the cake. They really don’t need to have the “Big Three”—big boobs, nice butt, great legs—and most don’t.

So, here’s the thing. Guys want sex. A woman who measures the quantity of that pleasure by the quantity of help around the house from the man is a successful magician. On the other hand, sex will not placate the man if the wife is a constant nag. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.

“Harry. Harry, are you listening. Harry, put down that paper and pay attention. Harry, did you wipe your feet? Mother’s coming.”

So, I figure if the guy picks up his crap and helps around the house from time to time, and the gal attends to the pleasure thing while keeping the nagging to a minimum, they both are in for a good 50 years of wedded bliss. See there. Easy. By the way ladies, the longer you hold out the quicker you’ll get that diamond ring.

‘Scuse me, I’m on my way to the Chauvinist Society meeting. —  D. C. ‘Dan’ Lee

Looking into the characters.

The primary characters in Danny Boy Stories are real but are nonetheless fictional. They lived at a time long ago in an age many historians call the “Golden Decade”. While their escapades and situations are patterned after real events, the circumstances, indeed their individual personalities were embellished for dramatic reading entertainment.

Imagination, ah, and of course the fantasies one sees playing out in an active mind adds to every character. Hero, heroine alike become bigger than life in fiction. Do we see them as ourselves? Perhaps, but only as things might have been. Every story has, over time,  been re-edited and is more entertaining now than when first introduced.

I’m told most writers live vicariously as their characters develop in a fictional piece. Are writers dreamers? Oh to be sure. I dream constantly about what might have been, and put those images down on paper in fiction. Dreams, to a writer, are critical events that must occur in the mind for a story to develop. The trick is to keep your dreams separate from life itself.

Now, I’m an incurable romantic as well. My bride of more than 56 years will tell you I’m the “touchy, feeling” type as well. In my fictional stories you will find my principal characters constantly holding hands. In my mind the simple act of two people holding hands helps bind them together, helps them to connect with one another. Too, I think you will find if you simply reach out and take the hand of your significant other in a time of crisis, things will almost immediately get better.

I liked writing my Danny Boy Stories. Each one carries with it an embellished time of life. You’ll find a generous bit of faith in Almighty God in my stories. I believe without religious faith the human spirit cannot survive. And, music, as well. Music to me is the adhesive that connects the human heart with God. Think about it.

Will I ever re-publish Danny Boy Stories now being removed from the Internet market place, or write more? That has yet to be decided.

Thanks to those who purchased. I am grateful. — D. C. ‘Dan’ Lee, 12/2015.

^{Will your faith be celebrated?}

^“2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. ³ It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. ⁴ I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 2-4.

Exercising our faith is not an easy path nowadays. Indeed, there are some studies that indicate fewer young people than ever before practice any religion at all. Are you and I to blame for the decline in faithfulness to Almighty God? Did we not bring our children up in a family of God, or were we just too busy with our own selfish interests, choosing pleasurable creature comforts over the promise of God’s love.

If you have doubts we are educating our children on a path that is doomed to failure, you have only to look at our children, and their children’s children. Religion in America, has been under attack for decades. Unbelievers have forced removal of even the most casual mention of Christianity in our textbooks. Historians can point to the impact of Christianity the world over, and yet curriculum has been sterilized from any mention at all, while at the same time there have been increasing mentions of other forms of religion.

Statistics of the world’s religions are only very rough approximations. Aside from Christianity, few religions, if any, attempt to keep statistical records; and even Protestants and Catholics employ different methods of counting members.

Rank Religion Members  % 1. Christianity 2.1 billion 33.0 2. Islam 1.3 billion 20.1 3. Hinduism 851 million 13.3 4. Buddhism 375 million 5.9 5. Sikhism 25 million 0.4 6. Judaism 15 million 0.2 7. Baha’ism 7.5 million 0.1 8. Confucianism 6.4 million 0.1 9. Jainism 4.5 million 0.1 10. Shintoism 2.8 million 0.0

America was established by religious men. Indeed, the first settlers came here to flee religious persecution. Do you not remember that simple fact? Our founding fathers frequently prayed, albeit privately, for guidance from Almighty God. Should we now do less? Of course they were not without sin, but they banded together as one.

“In God we trust.” “One nation under God.” Oh, really? Is that really what this nation believes, what YOU believe? Or, do you choose the politically correct path and remain silent, fearing a discussion of who believes what? What do you believe.

As America faces dangerous forces from within and from without, there are more reasons than ever to reinforce our faith in God, our belief that Jesus Christ suffered on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven before God. The strength of this nation lies in the strength of our faith.

The fact is simple: It is time to stand and be counted, to turn back to our faith to help us weather the coming storm: America, the beautiful…One nation under God!  — D C ‘Dan’ Lee

 

Understanding the narrowing road, Part 3: Opportunities

I do not believe every person who reaches age 75 or more experiences the sudden reality that he or she has become old, finished, done with life as I did. Nonetheless, many do, and it is an altogether difficult circumstance.

It is painfully depressing in every way to suddenly recognize there is no longer enough time to set lofty goals, reach for new professional heights, begin new projects. Now, I’m not a physician or psychologist, however, I know it is not sufficient to be told to find new avenues or turn to one’s religious faith.

If you have been quite active in community affairs, you are already involved in volunteer work, you’re a joiner, contributing to the social welfare of your community. Adding more volunteerism to your schedule will do little more than complicate your life. Bare in mind, depression may have already pushed you to the limit of mental endurance.

So, what do you do?

I have found looking for new opportunities with an expanded list of new friends is more than helpful. Furthermore, I avoid spending all my free time with other “senior citizens”. Expanding my daily exposure to some who are perhaps 20 years my junior provides me with ample opportunity to offer friendly guidance based upon my seven decades on earth. You would be surprised the number of folks who are anxious to be helped by your experience and proven track record.

Additionally, it is helpful to examine yourself. Perhaps there are dormant talents you can again put into play in your everyday life, things you used to enjoy but have allowed to slip out of your life. Variety of opportunity is important. Stay out of a rut. Actively grow your own opportunities without regard to time.

Of course, it must be said, your religious faith continues to be an important daily routine. Finding solace is easier and more rewarding when you are in a personal relationship with Almighty God. — D. C. ‘Dan’ Lee

“Today is not just another day, it’s a new opportunity, a new chance, a new beginning. Embrace it.”

Understanding the narrowing road, Part 2–Fantasies

Facing the sudden realization of old age, perhaps believing you are no longer a valuable asset without the time remaining to dream of wonderful possibilities, crushes one’s daily life routine, expectations, and can be debilitating.

The growing lump in your gut–you know the one that comes just before the dentist sticks the needle into your gum–doesn’t subside as it normally would. The adrenaline continues racing up and down your insides. It is an effort to continue your daily routine, hide the obvious from your family and loved ones.

The initial second guessing decisions of your past is replaced by continuing fantasies about seemingly unimportant events in your life, particularly interpersonal relationships as a teenager and young adult:

I neared the intersection and slowed my pace. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the screen door open. She stepped out onto the porch, down the front steps and onto the sidewalk. She was walking at 90-degrees directly across my path, crossing the street. I slowed my steps toward her side of the intersection. She would cross my path just as I came up the curbing and turned the same direction.

Oh, wow, did I see what she was wearing. A Senior Cord skirt, short-sleeve sweater, saddle shoes, carrying her books and notebook against her chest. A very pretty girl, short blond hair, pink horn-rimmed glasses.

We were walking side by side now. We said nothing. As we walked, her left hand brushed my right in cadence with our steps. Without thinking, I reached out and took her hand. She looked straight ahead and smiled. We walked to the high school.

Of course none of this happened as in this fantasy. Never did I have the courage to approach her, let alone take her hand. I simply turned the corner and walked ahead of her, extending the distance between us with every step.  The young woman did exist. She was every bit as I describe, and more. Ah, youth.

Second guessing your business and life decisions when you first realize you are in the sunset of life is one thing, but fantasizing personal relationships of the past is quite another difficulty that can come with age. There is no time machine to take us back. We can never know what could have been, and likely was not in God’s plan anyway. God does have a plan, you know.

In truth, life has not been an overall disappointment, notwithstanding those failures we have all experienced. The positives are always there, waiting for you to recognize again. While time is no longer on your side, there are avenues you can take, personal interactions you can have. You have only to look and partake of the joy that is still a part of your existence. Life is not over because time is slipping away. — D. C. ‘Dan’ Lee

You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream. — Aristotle

Understanding the narrowing road.

(A very personal piece.)

I have always been extraordinarily active, professionally and in community affairs of one kind or another. That includes being A-political. That has all changed.

A week ago, life slapped me in the face and kicked me hard in the stomach with the sudden realization I am done, finished, nothing left to do, no goals or dreams that can be followed at my age of 77 years! It has now been one of the most difficult times of my life of more than seven decades on this fragile planet.

My mind went screaming through thought processes: What do I do now, I may not be here tomorrow. No sense planning that, it will take to long to materialize, and…so on. Too, My thoughts raced back to a time long gone, times that were wonderful for me, things that can never be repeated. Sadly, too, I began to second-guess myself. What if I did this or that, rather than what I did.

Now, understand, I’m a religious person, a Christian, even though I seldom attend a regular church service. I’ve studied a long time, only a stroke of my pen would find me ordained. So, I fully understand the need to seek prayerful help during this time. Still, only the kind words of an Internet friend pulled me out of a black hole that may have ended my life prematurely.

Nevertheless, I’m making a number of changes. I’m pulling all my “Danny Boy Stories” off sale, and will discontinue writing for a time. I don’t know if I will ever re-publish any. I’ll likely pull out my watercolors and waste a lot of paper in the next few weeks. Further, I don’t intend to do many things that are not fulfilling.

What I will do is spend as much time as possible doing what I need to do to keep my mean old bride of 56 years happy. After all, she’s put up with my idiosyncrisies all this time. — D. C. “Dan” Lee

“…and, when my life is over, I shall ask the angels to recall the thrill of it all, and I’ll remember you…”

War is hell, and we’re in it!

We are at war! You must understand war is hell in every way.

If you want to win, you must bring every tool to bear. Civilians may die. The results my be horrible, but if you want to WIN, are necessary. In World War 2, for example, it was necessary to bring the nation’s of the Axis Powers to their knees.

War is hell, if you want to win, if you really want to WIN. Anything else simply sacrifices military men and women as political pawns.

You cannot fire half a bullet, drop a bomb only half way, or restrict your armed forces with unrealistic rules of engagement. Not if you want to WIN.

Those of us who have served in the regular, National Guard, or Reserve forces, know one does not say “pretty please” before you squeeze the trigger.

…but these are just my opinions.

“Figures don’t lie, but liars figure.”

It is likely you have heard the admonition that is the title of this opinion piece, but you won’t be bored or confused here with a mountain of statistics.

Truth is, the United States is broke, dead broke. Every dime the Federal Government spends is borrowed. The result is a spiraling out of control debt that will soon be $20 Trillion Dollars!

“It’s the economy stupid!” Remember that from a presidential campaign several elections ago? It is as true now as ever. Regardless what you see or hear on the news, the economy is NOT robust. Sure, some segments are beginning to show improvement, but hasn’t the damage to the average American already been done?

Here are some things to consider:

• A huge segment of those who were laid off in the recent economic downturn are now occupying jobs that pay less and are far below their skill level. How else could they keep body and soul together?
• Fast food chains have been the beneficiary, able to hire high quality workers because that person cannot get a position for which they were trained. High skills, low pay.
• The pressure of an increased illegal immigrant onslaught at the border further exacerbates the demand for jobs. Illegals can garner the simple jobs at lower pay.
• The Congress and sitting President have not been unable to come to grips with the bloating Federal Bureaucracy for the past 50 or so years. Government spending is totally out of control.
• There was a great deal of talk in the Washington Beltway this past month or so about cutting Social Security benefits, in order to shore up spiraling government spending. Sure, penalize the old to pacify the incompetent!
• Government must take its hand out of the affairs in every state. What, for example, would be the result if the Department of Education was dissolved in favor of a simplified system of block grants based upon enrollment? The initial impact would be a colossal reduction of control over our schools by those in Washington. Or, how about dumping the entire tax code in favor of a “fair” or “flat” tax? To be sure, laid off federal employees would shoulder a big part of chopping block action.

Our elected officials in Washington, DC, have become a growing “political class”, seemingly working more to pad their own power base and greed than for the good of the People. Have you ever wondered why every member of the House of Representatives and Senator is essentially set for life once they have served a term or two?

Government cannot dictate wages! Why? It’s simple, really: The more a business has to pay for workers, the fewer workers it can afford, or, it must set higher prices for its goods and services, perhaps both. Simple economics. Too, it is a no win situation. The business must find a fair balance for its costs versus income. A business is NOT a charitable institution.

The bloated Federal Government, is populated by employees protected by Civil Service rules and a union that cares not for anything other that control! Those rules and union contracts are part and parcel why the VA’s hospital efficiencies are failing, with more than 300,000 veterans having passed away waiting to see a physician!

It will be difficult to solve even a minute portion of the debt problem. Hard decisions must be made. A reduction in the Federal workforce must be made. A cut in those departments with duplicated effort is mandated. In short, simple kitchen table economics like you and I practise in our home budgeting, has become a necessity.

But, what do I know? — D. C. ‘Dan’ Lee

Immigration problems are not going away soon!

dannyboystories

The illegal (that’s the proper word) immigration problem is not going to go away easily, and it’s just one more reason why American voters are angry at the professional politicians who populate the buildings, streets, and alleyways of Washington, DC. It is also why so many are delighted with Donald Trump’s “deport them all” stance.

If you think about it, in my view, it is not the individual immigrant that folks are angry about, it’s the obvious way in which the Congress and our President are ignoring Americans who feel they are losing their country.

I spent more than two decades in California, one of our states where there is a large and vibrant population of Hispanics. Indeed, I have many fond memories of friends of Mexican descent sharing community action alongside me in Jaycees, Lions, Rotary, etc. Unfortunately, these real citizens get swept up in the “politically correct” efforts of politicians. As…

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